Your not reliable. You wouldn't be at all a comfortable sort of person to live with.
But surely for everything you love you have to pay some price.
I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays and have things arranged for them that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas.
... obsessions are always dangerous.
When you find that people are not telling you the truth---look out!
Don't think. That is the wrong way to bring anything back. Let it go. Sooner or later it will flash into your mind.