Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran. But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, 'Hi' to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.

I don't know what happens to you after you die. I'm not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.

To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It's - I think they might use too much oil in their hummus - but it's the wrong question.

My dad was a terrible businessman.

The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations.

I'm crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.