I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents, good schools for me to prepare myself for a career, and, if I worked hard and played by the rules, a chance for me to do anything I wanted.

My parents were really political. The news was very important in our home. We basically had dinner every night while watching the news, and then we'd discuss it with our parents.

Google might be doping the horses.

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

Comedy to the Senate? Well, there certainly hasn't been a satirist or a political satirist who's done that. So, that really was uncharted territory during the campaign. But I think it's a good thing. Some people thought that it was an odd career arc, but to me it made absolute sense.

I do have a self-censor; everybody does, or at least most who are not pathological do.