The horrible truth is that I am lazy and I am going to write and do bits that just hand themselves to me.

We're down in Mexico. It's for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club... I go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat - these ladies are all business - she goes, 'Go ahead, take out your dong.' 'I'm not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong? If you want to be hip to the lingo, they're not using the word dong up in the States.

Stop throwing us all together like some sort of Puerto Ricaminican Tex-Mex buffet.

The horrible truth is that I am lazy and I am going to write and do bits that just hand themselves to me.

Im so sick of people treating Latinos like some homogenous group that all feel the same way about everything.

Near my house in Los Angeles is a waterfall. I love to take the wife and kids, but it's also near a sketchy neighborhood. So there's a lot of gang members that hang out at the waterfall. It's like somebody took an Ansel Adams photo and then put a Cypress Hill video inside it.

I'm always alone. Sad face emoticon.