Stop throwing us all together like some sort of Puerto Ricaminican Tex-Mex buffet.

Im so sick of people treating Latinos like some homogenous group that all feel the same way about everything.

Don't bring your sand toys to the park. That's another bad move. Because I go to the park, and I'm on the Vicodin and a little weed too - let's face it - and I go in there, and my wife's like, 'Bring the sand toys! Bring the sand toys!' And I know what happens every single time: I become sand toy repo man from the eight little kids that run off in nine different directions with my sand toys.

Well, once I fried tofu and put Sriracha on it. After that I was so depressed I swore off preparing food for myself altogether.

Stop throwing us all together like some sort of Puerto Ricaminican Tex-Mex buffet.

My primary responsibility is to be funny.

I bullshit on the phone all day with a variety of people discussing various projects, and occasionally write jokes.