We need a war every 10 years, so we can stay match fit in case the Germans try again.

I'm not an alcoholic, I am freedom fighter against the teetotal taliban.

We need a war every 10 years, so we can stay match fit in case the Germans try again.

Louis Pasteur, the great scientist, said "chance favours the prepared mind", which is a posh way of saying 'do your homework', but it's an excellent piece of advice.

Thanks to the internet, I buy lots of music, but thanks to my easily distracted nature, I forget about half of it!

My mum had a cousin that had played when he was younger. When I showed an interest in drumming, he showed me how to mummy-daddy roll and that set me up for a bit. And to be honest, it's all about the sound, the noise, the rattle and hum. Who wouldn't want to make a fantastic noise with drums and cymbals?!

I read a lot. I spend of lot time thinking. It actually looks like I'm doing nothing, but... hanging out with clever and interesting people is a must if you're writing comedy, like hanging out with a good bass player when you're a drummer.