Once I was on a plane and a woman said to me, 'Now, what's the matter with my tomatoes?' And I said, 'Well, it's a bit difficult to see from here.' She took offence and said, 'I was only trying to be friendly.'
Alan TitchmarshI get up to 400 letters a week, so I have a full-time PA, but I try to answer everything. People don't seem to realise that if they send something living in the post it's going to die on the way. Especially when you wrap it in a polythene bag.
Alan TitchmarshI'm a big fan of the Queen. She carries herself well, as does the Prince of Wales, despite getting lots of stick.
Alan Titchmarsh