Once I was on a plane and a woman said to me, 'Now, what's the matter with my tomatoes?' And I said, 'Well, it's a bit difficult to see from here.' She took offence and said, 'I was only trying to be friendly.'
Alan TitchmarshAirports - they're not my idea of fun at all. Some of the staff are lovely, but you do always get one or two that seem to forget that it's actually costing you a lot of money to be there and be insulted by their surliness. Times have obviously changed and we need to get used to being more strictly vetted, but they could be more pleasant about it. A smile wouldn't go amiss.
Alan TitchmarshI get nice letters, but really I have no idea. I just try to enthuse people. You've been married for 31 years.
Alan TitchmarshI had the heaviest paper round in Ilkley, West Yorks, and if you look at my shoulders one is still lower than the other. I also did a milk round for a day. It was awful. I was a very surly milkman, because it was very cold, very dark and very early. I am a lark, not an owl, but not in winter when it's chilly. Apart from that I went straight into gardening at 15.
Alan TitchmarshI don't like people being rude. Bad manners and arrogance make me cross. People making others feel uncomfortable. And I really don't like it in restaurants when people are rude or patronising to waiters. I feel like saying, 'They're not your slave'. But my knees only shake around once every five years. You're safe, don't worry.
Alan Titchmarsh