When I was younger, I wasn't concentrating on good days. I was managing a career and trying to have a good year. It would always 'lead' to something, which never leads to anything except death, where everything leads to. And then as I got older, and then I had my kids and everything, I began to appreciate a great Wednesday.

Regrets are stupid; they don't mean anything and they don't add up to anything.

I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll ever have, because the emotions run high.

When you improvise on the spot, people are very reluctant to have soft moments or quiet moments or sad moments because they're trying to fill up the spaces. So they always go towards, "How come you're late?! You're supposed to have my shirt ready! You call this a dry cleaner?!" That's what happens. That's why improvising on the spot gets very dicey.

I'm a member of the Academy, but I don't know who all the other Academy members are. It's not like a politician who knows who is in the Iowa caucus.

If we had 3 million exhibitionists and only one voyeur, nobody could make any money.

You know, I became a director out of necessity. I was writing comedies, and I couldn't find anybody to deliver it correctly.