What is absurd and monstrous about war is that men who have no personal quarrel should be trained to murder one another in cold blood.

Happiness is like coke — something you get as a by-product in the process of making something else.

It had the taste of an apple peeled with a steel knife. (Sebastian Barnack assessing a Roederer 1916 champagne in Time Must Have a Stop)

No holiday is ever anything but a disappointment.

Everyone who wants to do good to the human race always ends in universal bullying.

Science and art are only too often a superior kind of dope, possessing this advantage over booze and morphia: that they can be indulged in with a good conscience and with the conviction that, in the process of indulging, one is leading the higher life.

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.