Pardew has come out and criticized me. He is the worst at haranguing referees. He shoves them and makes a joke of it. How he can criticize me is unbelievable. He forgets the help I gave him, by the way. The press have had a field day. The only person they have not spoken to is Barack Obama because he is busy. It is unfortunate but I am the manager of the most famous club in the world. Not Newcastle, a wee club in the North-East. I was demonstrative. I am always demonstrative. Everyone knows that. I am an emotional guy but I was not abusive.

Everywhere I go the coaches all tell me that Scholsey is the player they admire. But if they think they'll get him they're wasting their time! Paul is a Manc lad pure and simple. He loves the club and there's no chance of him leaving here. If ever he decided to go there would be a stampede, but he won't be going, he's here for life.

Jose [Mourinho] was one of those guys on a surfboard who can stay longer on the wave than anyone else.

I'm-A-God-Look-At-Me.

Look at me – it's taken 10 years off me today. It's these tablets, they're great!

If ever there was one player, anywhere in the world, that was made for Manchester United, it was Cantona. He swaggered in, stuck his chest out, raised his head and surveyed everything as though he was asking: 'I'm Cantona. How big are you? Are you big enough for me?'

Jose understands winning and losing are twins in a way. When you win you don't gloat and when you lose you don't go bananas.