In England, it's a rare thing to see a player smoking but, all in all, I prefer that to an alcoholic. The relationship with alcohol is a real problem in English football and, in the short term, it's much more harmful to a sportsman. It weakens the body, which becomes more susceptible to injury.

But there is always that unpredictability about a derby match and that's what it was today.

Look at me – it's taken 10 years off me today. It's these tablets, they're great!

In any normal season, most of the teams below Chelsea would think they are doing quite well.

You can't applaud a referee.

I remember the first time I saw him. He was 13 and just floated over the ground like a cockier spaniel chasing a piece of silver paper in the wind.

He could start a row in an empty house.