If you can't be in awe of Mother Nature, there's something wrong with you.

Saying that I've THOUGHT about it doesn't mean that I'm DOING it.

I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off.

Merv Griffin, who developed Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune, had a great line once. I used to personally answer all the mail that came in to Jeopardy! whether it was favorable or unfavorable, and Merv said, You know how I handle the nasty mail? I said no. He just grabbed it and folded it up and crunched it up and threw it in the wastebasket. He said, I don't bother with it.

I tried to do my best impression of The Jonas Brothers, but no matter how hard I tried I ended up looking cool!

The only reason I got into broadcasting was, I needed money to pay for my junior and senior years at college, and they hired me, those fools!

My musical development stopped when Frank Sinatra died.