Faculty Meetings are held whenever the need to show off is combined with the imperative of accomplishing nothing.

The parrot holds its food for prim consumption as daintily as any debutante, [with] a predilection for pot roast, hashed-brown potatoes, duck skin, butter, hoisin sauce, sesame seed oil, bananas and human thumb.

Artists are never complete people. But if it's art that completes them, then what is taken away?

It's true, you can never eat a pet you name. And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy.

Yellow is vagueness and luminousness, both.

There is no loneliness like that of a failed marriage.

Will I have to use a dictionary to read your book?" asked Mrs. Dodypol. "It depends," says I, "how much you used the dictionary before you read it.