You have to give them unconditional love. They need to know that even if they screw up, you love them. You don't want them to grow up and resent you or, even worse, parent the way you parented them.
Alfie KohnEach time I visit such a classroom, where the teacher is more interested in creating a democratic community than in maintaining her position of authority, Iโm convinced all over again that moving away from consequences and rewards isnโt just realistic - itโs the best way to help kids grow into good learners and good people.
Alfie KohnThe legendary statistical consultant W. Edwards Deming, . . . has called the system by which merit is appraised and rewarded 'the most powerful inhibitor to quality and productivity in the Western world' . . . it is simply unfair to the extent that employees are held responsible for what are, in reality, systemic factors that are beyond their control.
Alfie Kohn