The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school.

I don't know, but I've been told, the streets of hell are paved with gold.

Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other three were Groucho Marx, Jim Morrison and Pablo Picasso.

My fastest time in high school was a 4:29 mile. I think cross-country has something to do with my longevity in my business. When you're in an eight-mile race, you never give up.

Is everybody that depressed? It's a depressing feeling to me. You know: "I lost my baby." I don't care if you lost your baby, I care if you're feeling OK. Don't tell me your problem - tell me what good's been happening to you.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey stoopid.

What most people don't understand is that UFOs are on a cosmic tourist route. That's why they're always seen in Arizona, Scotland, and New Mexico. Another thing to consider is that all three of those destinations are good places to play golf. So there's possibly some connection between aliens and golf.