when a person implores you to be reasonable what he means is that you should speed round forthwith to his point of view.

I have frequently thought that the dead should be buried with all their belongings. It seems weirdly perverse that their clothes should still be here when the people you love best in the world have gone.

Death is the last enemy: once we've got past that I think everything will be alright.

Evil and laughter cannot co-exist.

Adolescence is usually typified by an unanswerable combination of innocence and insolence.

One can get very fond of the people one meets in bars. The trouble is they then appear sort of different in the daylight and you realize that taking them with you is rather like taking a goldfish for a walk: not entirely correct, and surprising for the next people you run into.

Phrase books seem to be a universal and eternal source of hilarity and I think I know why. Their authors go mad in the course of compiling them.