I want to reach out and grab his hand and hold it to me, right over my heart, right where it aches the most. I don't know if doing that would heal me or make my heart break entirely, but either way this constant hungry waiting would be over.

I wonder if I will ever have the strength to hold onto something. Or if I will always be someone who destroys.

I think of how perhaps the best way to fly would be with hands full of earth, so you always remember where you came from.

Once you want something, everything changes. Now I want everything. More and more and more.

I'm falling in love. I am in love. And it's not with Xander, though I do love him. I'm sure of that, as sure as I am of the fact what I feel for Ky is something different.

Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle-it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It's not an act of bitterness. It's an act if self-preservation. It's not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?

Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that.