Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.