Going from crying to laughing that fast and hard happens maybe five times in your life and that extreme right turn is the reason why we are alive, and I believe it extends our life by many years.

Anyone who has the kind of inventive and inspired comic sensibility to be able to do that kind of work must be pretty talented.

I've failed a million times on stage. I've listened to notes that I knew weren't right. I've pitched ideas and let other people change them, knowing that it was the wrong choice. The question you have to ask yourself is: How do you want to fail? Do you want to fail in a way that feels like it respects your tastes and value system?

Saying "yes" doesn't mean I don't know how to say no, and saying "please" doesn't mean I am waiting for permission.

Believe me, blond hair can take you really far, especially with the older men. It can really distract from the face. I am convinced I could have had sex with both Tony Bennett and John McCain if we weren't each happily married at the time we all met.

Just breathe. Sometimes you're only a few breaths away from feeling better.

However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, 'I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.'