President Bush threw out the first pitch Monday at Cincinnati's great American ball park. 18 Iraqis were killed.

Both conservatives and liberals watch 'Parks and Recreation,' and they each think the show is for them, which is really cool. 'SNL' was totally different. It was exciting because everyone was paying attention. Political humor works when people know what you're talking about.

Always remember your kid's name.

I have withdrawal pains about not getting to work the people (on the show).

Keep your virginity for as long as you can, until it starts to feel weird to you. Then just get it over with.

I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody's passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn't mind leading.

Make no a complete sentence.