I always thought it mattered, to know what is the worst possible thing that can happen to you, to know how you can avoid it, to not be drawn by the magic of the unspeakable.

I wanted my children to have the best combination: American circumstances and Chinese character. How could I know these things do not mix?

And I remember wondering why it was that eating something good could make me feel so terrible, while vomiting something terrible could make me feel so good.

If I now recognize evil in other people, is it not because I have become evil too?

How I saw in her my own true nature. What was beneath my skin. Inside my bones... Even though I was young, I could see the pain of the flesh and the worth of the pain. This is how a daughter honors her mother. It is shou so deep it is in your bones. The pain of the flesh is nothing. The pain you must forget. Because sometimes that is the only way to remember what is in your bones. You must peel off your skin, and that of your mother, and her mother before her. Until there is nothing. No scar, no skin, no flesh.

I've always been a magnet for guilt.

You can have pride in what you do each day, but not arrogance in what you were born with.