Sure, you can do without the hard personal comments, but it doesn't really happen apart from a few isolated incidents.

Cricket is great, but I'm not as comfortable with everything else that goes with it.

I'm not someone who needs to bat and bat to be in form.

It's usually the funny comments which are the better ones - and they are good for the game.

While I'm at second slip I'm not just thinking of what I'm going to have for tea. I'm considering the match as well, wondering how I can help, if there is anything I can offer.

I'm completely different from Pietersen. He would turn up to the opening of an envelope

That means I can drive a flock of sheep through the town centre, drink for free in no less than 64 pubs and get a lift home with the police when I become inebriated. What more could you want?