Suddenly it makes sense again. In no haze of mindfulness, staring down at this snow-covered quilt of America, I am the stars exploding. Voice shot down to hell, half sick, half recovered, alive and well and ready. The unknown for now will remain as such and in this moment that feeling is not one of suspension. It is the hopeful unknown. Reaching into the future could only be good now as the past is wrapping itself in ribbons and pleasant packing paper, rarely to be revisited.

It's always strange to read the things you've hoped for in the past because by now those hopes may be spoken for or gone, transformed or altogether forgotten. Like time, hope can be so senseless. It can carry us up mountains or lie us in the quicksand. But like time, hope is unstoppable, inevitable, and blind. Sometimes we travel fast, hurdling towards the unknown, sometimes the unknown comes hurdling towards us while we watch time standing still.

I can say for the first time that I am not afraid, and while this is a feeling that can undoubtedly change with time, I feel cradled by this universe and the immense love that comes from it.

Suddenly it makes sense again. In no haze of mindfulness, staring down at this snow-covered quilt of America, I am the stars exploding. Voice shot down to hell, half sick, half recovered, alive and well and ready. The unknown for now will remain as such and in this moment that feeling is not one of suspension. It is the hopeful unknown. Reaching into the future could only be good now as the past is wrapping itself in ribbons and pleasant packing paper, rarely to be revisited.

I like to watch people have fun and then trip them while they're doing so.

I swear to much for this to be a television special. Did you guys ever have your mouth washed out with soap? My mom did that to me a lot. I think I swear more because of it. I started liking the taste of soap, I would eat it just to spite her. (pause) I'd bite off bars of soap.

And when I got sick I felt confident that if it was the last thing I ever recorded before I left this earth, I would be really proud of it.