Believe me... I've made a career out of being the right thing in the wrong space and the wrong thing in the right space. That's one thing... I really do know about.

Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.

When I think about what sort of person I would most like to have on a retainer, I think it would be a boss. A boss who could tell me what to do, because that makes everything easy when you're working.

I like to work when I'm not working - do something that may not be considered work, but to me it's work. Getting exercise by going to the grocery store.

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery. People are working every minute. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep.

I went to vote once, but I got too scared. I couldn't decide whom to vote for.

Fantasy love is much better than Reality Love.