You don't want the Republicans in power, does that mean you want a dictatorship, gay boy?

Science is something that you have facts. They can be tested. They can be checked. Heterosexual AIDS, another one.

Because of the industrialization of agriculture -- using massive amounts of fossil fuel -- only 2 percent of Americans work in farming. And yet they produce enough food to feed all 300 million Americans, with plenty left over for export. When are liberals going to break the news to their friends in Darfur that they all have to starve to death to save the planet?

You want to be careful not to become just a blowhard.

Here's a foolproof method for keeping America safe. Always do the exact 180-degree opposite of whatever [Jimmy] Carter says, as quickly as possible.

Why not go to war just for oil? We need oil. What do Hollywood celebrities imagine fuels their private jets? How do they think their cocaine is delivered to them?

If Hitler hadn't turned against their beloved Stalin, liberals would have stuck by him, too.