Historically, the best way to convert liberals is to have them move out of their parents' home, get a job, and start paying taxes.

All of these riots around the globe are endangering the world. And mobs are always dangerous, destructive things that end society. Liberal policies promote mobs because liberals crawl on the mobs, the destruction wrought by the mobs to attain power. Tere's only one way to react to a mob to save civilized society, and that is to smash the mob. It is not to mollycoddle the mob.

Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether.

The most we can hope for is strong marriages. Married women vote Republican; single women vote Democratic.

The truth cannot be delivered with novocaine.

I'm thinking of writing a book on national health care. It will be 2,000 pages, and you'll have two hours to read it.

Here's a foolproof method for keeping America safe. Always do the exact 180-degree opposite of whatever [Jimmy] Carter says, as quickly as possible.