While the form of treachery varies slightly from case to case, liberals always manage to take the position that most undermines American security.

So now it turns out that Thomas Jefferson was having sex with Sally Hemings while serving in the 101st Airborne during the Vietnam War.

Liberals are more upset when a tree is chopped down than when a child is aborted. Even if one rates an unborn child less than a full-blown person, doesn't the unborn child rate slightly higher than vegetation?

I'm a problem-solver, and you're welcome.

This is the way addled liberals really think. Even as they champion sucking the brains out of little babies, they think of themselves as indelibly compassionate because they favor an overweening, behemoth federal government.

You will find liberals always rooting for savages against civilization.

Liberals don't have to emerge from the hot tub and start attending NASCAR races or - God forbid - church, but it would be nice if they'd stop lying all the time.