The only question I'd be interested in is what books other celebrities have read recently, which is part of my campaign to promote reading.

Some people say I'm really ugly and anorexic; some say the only reason I'm on TV is because I'm pretty. I say to them: Get your slander straight. You are what you are, whether you're small or skinny or smart or dumb. Just do what you do.

Liberals don't love big government because they think it's efficient, compassionate, fair or even remotely useful. They support big government because they are guaranteed the support of nearly everyone who works for the government.

Democrats couldn't care less if people in Indiana hate them. But if Europeans curl their lips, liberals can't look at themselves in the mirror.

As long as American liberals are going to keep announcing that they're embarrassed for their country, how about being embarrassed by our public schools or by our ridiculous trial lawyer culture that other countries find laughable?

That is Obama's signature move: Invent people who are saying ridiculous things and then encourage the audience to laugh at these made-up buffoons.

The only important lesson from the Vietnam War is this: Democrats lose wars.