The only question I'd be interested in is what books other celebrities have read recently, which is part of my campaign to promote reading.

How can rogue terrorists in Iraq detonate bombs? They're all too busy flying kites with their children! Hasn't [Katrina vanden Heuvel (Queen of the May at the fun-loving Nation magazine)] seen Fahrenheit 9/11?

On one hand, liberals are enraged at the heinousness of Mark Sanford - whom they didn't vote for - for not resigning and, on the other, they're enraged at Palin - whom they also didn't vote for - for resigning.

I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.

Liberals claim to love gays when it allows them to vent their spleen at Republicans. But disagree with liberals and their first response is to call you gay. Liberals are gays' biggest champions on issues most gays couldn't care less about, like gay marriage or taxpayer funding of photos of men with bullwhips up their derrieres. But who has done more to out, embarrass, and destroy the lives of gay men who prefer to keep their orientation private than Democrats? Who is more intolerant of gays in the Republican Party than gays in the Democratic Party?

By 1973, John Kerry had already accused American soldiers of committing war crimes in Vietnam, thrown someone else's medals to the ground in an anti-war demonstration, and married his first heiress.

You never run into a fundamentalist Christian as intolerant of - take anything, you know, homosexuality as a liberal who has just found a lit cigarette in a nonsmoking section.