I'm a Christian first, and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it. You know who else was kind of "divisive" in terms of challenging the status quo and the powers-that-be of his day? Jesus Christ.

Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking.

I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.

You want to be careful not to become just a blowhard.

Historically, the best way to convert liberals is to have them move out of their parents' home, get a job, and start paying taxes.

I defy any of my coreligionists to tell me they do not laugh at the idea of Dawkins burning in hell.

Liberals don't care. Their approach is to rip out society's foundations without asking if they serve any purpose. Why do we have immigration laws? What's with these borders? Why do we have the institution of marriage, anyway? What do we need standardized tests for? Hey, I like Keith Richards - why not make heroin legal? Let's take a sledgehammer to all these load-bearing walls and just see what happens!