Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.

Conservatives have a problem with women. For that matter, all men do.

I'm thinking of writing a book on national health care. It will be 2,000 pages, and you'll have two hours to read it.

Hussein praised his sons for putting up a brave fight, noting that U.S. forces had surrounded their compound with advanced weaponry, ground troops and warplanes. In case that didn't work, U.S. forces were prepared to tell Janet Reno that a small Cuban boy was inside the house.

There's been another mass shooting by a crazy person, and liberals still refuse to consider institutionalizing the dangerously mentally ill.

My hobby (politics) has become my life. I have the greatest life imaginable. I think I have a greater life than anyone in the universe, in fact.

They spent the night in jail, where their progressive views on gay marriage served them well.