Yes I try to kill myself in small amounts, an innocuous occupation. Actually I'm hung up on it.

I lay there silently, hoarding my small dignity. I did not ask about the gate or the closet. I did not question the bedtime ritual where, on the cold bathroom tiles, I was spread out daily and examined for flaws. I did not know that my bones, those solids, those pieces of sculpture would not splinter.

Abundance is scooped from abundance yet abundance remains.

Let there be a heaven so that man may outlive his grasses.

God went out of me as if the sea dried up like sandpaper, as if the sun became a latrine. God went out of my fingers. They became stone. My body became a side of mutton and despair roamed the slaughterhouse.

You lay, a small knuckle on my white bed; lay, that fist like a snail, small and strong at my breast. Your lips are animals; you are fed with love. At first, hunger is not wrong.

I think I've been writing black poems all along, wearing my white mask. I'm always the victim ... but no longer!