Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.

When dealing with complex transportation issues, the best thing to do is pull up with a cold beer and let somebody else figure it out.

I didn't want food that looked unapproachable or ridiculously beautiful.

Anything that improves people's expectations of a meal is good for the world. Anything that weans even one kid or one adult away from Chili's or T.G.I. Friday's is definitely a win for the good guys.

I'd love to play bass with Parliament Funkadelic, but I can't play bass, so I don't think that's going to happen.

In my house, neither my wife nor my daughter are impressed that I'm on television, and they remind me of that frequently.

Even on the Serengeti, it ain't a barbecue if there ain't some kind of beer.