I could eat bloody Elvis - if you put enough vinegar on him.

Anyone who doesn't have a great time in San Francisco is pretty much dead to me.

A good, stinky French cheese or a good Stilton. These are things I really, really love. Dessert I can obviously live without.

Doing graphic novels is cool! It's fun! You get to write something, and then see it visually page by page, panel by panel, working with the artist, you get to see it fleshed out.

Even on the Serengeti, it ain't a barbecue if there ain't some kind of beer.

I travel 250 days a year. There are chef friends who I only see every couple of years. By conventional standards I'm a bad friend. I'm not there to remember your birthday or to offer you words of support through Twitter. I'm not up on what you're doing in New York because I'm not in New York. I'm not what people call in parenting circles "present."

I'm never a reliable narrator, unbiased or objective.