Hillary Clinton flew with President Bush to New York City on Tuesday. She was amazed at the changes aboard Air Force One. For eight years she believed that flight attendants couldn't wear clothes because it made the plane too heavy.

The Pentagon tested an anti-missile system in New Mexico Wednesday. The test was an incomplete success. While the interceptor was shooting down the incoming missile, three thousand illegal aliens walked right across the border under its nose.

Ohio went on alert Tuesday when a train with hazardous chemicals ran wild through the state. A brave engineer leaped aboard and brought the runaway train under control. Sounds like we've found our next FBI Director.

Chinese president Jiang Zemin met with former Bill Clinton in Hong Kong Wednesday. What a contrast. One is a ruthless communist who gains popularity by damaging the United States, while the other guy runs China.

President Clinton broke ground Saturday for the World War II memorial in Washington. He'll never have the military's full respect. However, after surviving ten female accusers, he's been made an honorary member of the Tailhook Association.

FBI laboratory scientists said Sunday they have determined that the anthrax mailed to Senate offices last fall was fresh. They say it's only two years old. If the stuff is two years old and it's still fresh, it's not anthrax, it's Velveeta.

No wonder we keep testing positive in their bicycle races. Everyone looks like they're full of testosterone when they're surrounded by Frenchmen.