Senate Democrats vowed Sunday to kill President Bush's energy plan. They think this is their ticket back to the White House in 2004. All they have to do now is figure out a way to get cars to run on beautiful pictures of Alaska.

The White House announced on Monday the Prime Minister of Australia will visit President Bush in September. We have a lot in common. Australia started out as a prison colony, while the United States has evolved into one.

Sudan replaced the U.S. on the U.N. Human Rights Commission joining Syria, and Cuba. So now, the commission members have no interest in upholding the stated mission of the panel. It's just like the Senate Ethics Committee.

They’ve taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.

Virginia Governor Jim Gilmore rescinded the state's European Heritage Month proclamation for fear it would sound racist. It's too bad. Thus ends a month of celebrating the 400-year progression of our nation's British culture from wood to steel to graphite shafts.

Bill and Hillary will spend Easter with her brothers Hugh and Tony and Roger Clinton. They have a family ritual at all holiday dinners. After they sit down, they hold hands, close their eyes, and get their stories straight.

President Clinton broke ground Saturday for the World War II memorial in Washington. He'll never have the military's full respect. However, after surviving ten female accusers, he's been made an honorary member of the Tailhook Association.