I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be.

You can get tested now for early onset Alzheimer's. Hold on a second, could someone hire a marching band, cause I'm so happy I feel like having a parade. You mean I can find out early if I'm going to die of a super horrible disease that there's no cure for? Well, whoopee!

There are so many types of shoes. There's so many categories, and I really have no idea what type of shoe I need at any given time. And I go in there - I find it a little bit overwhelming. 'Welcome to the shoe store! What are you looking for? Are you looking for walking shoes?' Well, uh, I'd like to have that option. Hopefully, they're adjustable. I mean, I'd like to be able to turn them up to other settings, as well.

I hate all generalisations.

Home is wherever I am. People make too big a deal about where you live. I try to be grounded in myself. Home is another way of saying 'a place where you keep all your stuff'.

I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with second-chance exits.

Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets - unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel. Then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.