During a long and varied career as a bachelor, dear spouse [mock platform manner], I have noticed that marriage is usually the death of politeness between a man and a woman.

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.

Journalists say a thing that they know isn't true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true.

If egotism means a terrific interest in one's self, egotism is absolutely essential to efficient living.

Only a very gifted mind could cope singly with all the problems which present themselves in the perfecting of a home.

The saxophone is the embodied spirit of beer.

Good taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste.