Children have an unerring instinct for knowing when they are being patronized. They go immediately on the defensive against head-patting adults who treat them like strange beings.

I've learned it's always better to have a small percentage of a big success, than a hundred percent of nothing.

A traveling show visited a country town and one of the acts was advertised as a striptease. A small boy begged his mother for a quarter to buy a ticket, but the mother refused, telling her son that if he went to that show he would see something awful. Well, the boy sneaked in the show and the first thing he saw was something awful - his own dad sitting on the front row.

I stand fearlessly for small dogs, the American Flag, motherhood and the Bible. That's why people love me.

I like what I'm doing. Today at 88, I wouldn't think of quitting because I can't think of anything else I would rather do. And now with my lectures on all the charitable things that I do, just as you do, I think that what I'm doing matters

Kids do say the darndest things

Troubadours travelled from town to town. They didn't really sing too good, which is the main reason they kept going.