My age now, like my age 20 years ago, marks the year in which I was born. That's all.

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence.

I've learned it's always better to have a small percentage of a big success, than a hundred percent of nothing.

Diplomacy - the art of jumping into trouble without making a splash.

One of the wonderful things about going to a small college is you can get into everything.

Sometimes I'm asked by kids why I condemn marijuana when I haven't tried it. The greatest obstetricians in the world have never been pregnant.

A preacher was operated on for a hernia. As this was about the time of the first world war he was given ether. As he was coming out of the anesthetic a fire broke out in the building next door. As the flames began to show through the hospital windows the nurse pulled the shades down. She didn't want the preacher to think his operation had been a failure.