The closest you will ever come in this life to an orderly universe is a good library.

By using your intelligence, you can sometimes make your problems twice as complicated.

Why does merely attempting to understand Reality so often seem to lead to going insane?

Cheer up! The worst effects of what we're doing won't be felt until after we're all dead

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

I'm in search of myself - have you seen me anywhere?

There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before.