Please don't believe everything you hear about me, regardless of how true it may be.

I too have known joy and sadness, and, on the whole, I prefer joy.

I have many unrecognized talents, but my faults have somehow succeeded in securing wide recognition.

I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

My cat knows the meaning of life, but has no interest in sharing the secret.

In order to keep an open mind, I am trying to avoid learning anything.

Beware! Freedom of speech also includes the freedom to be misunderstood.