Please don't believe everything you hear about me, regardless of how true it may be.

All I ask of Life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.

My success lies in having achieved a record numbers of failures.

Never underestimate the size and scope of my problems.

There is one pain, I often feel, which you will never know. It's caused by the absence of you.

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.