I chose surgery because I thought that perhaps this would make me more like the kind of person I wanted to be.

We recruit for attitude and train for skill.

I talked to over two hundred patients and family members about their experiences with aging, serious illnesses, and the big unfixables. But I also spoke with scores of physicians, and especially geriatricians, palliative care doctors, hospice nurses, and nursing home workers. The biggest thing I found was that when these clinicians were at their best, they were recognizing that people had priorities besides merely living longer. The most important and reliable way that we can understand what people's priorities are, besides just living longer, is to simply ask. And we don't ask.

I chose surgery because I thought that perhaps this would make me more like the kind of person I wanted to be.

Life is choices, and they are relentless. No sooner have you made one choice than another is upon you.

My own son has a congenital heart condition, where his life was saved by a cardiac surgeon stepping in at 11 days of life to save his life. But he is now 21 years old because of constant monitoring and working with him with a primary care physician. that's the only reason now that he's getting to live a long and healthy life. That's what we're not rewarding. They don't have the kind of resources and commitment that we are giving to people like me. I have millions of dollars of equipment available to me when I go to work every day in an operating room.

We yearn for frictionless, technological solutions. But people talking to people is still the way norms and standards change.