I never could have written the screenplay because I would have been forced to learn new software and I can't learn one more thing.

Part of me believes that love is more valuable when you have to work for it.

It was a salad bar of phobias

Self-pity is the bestiality of emotions: it absolutely disgusts people. When you're feeling pity for yourself, and somebody says to you 'You think maybe it's time for the pity party to be over? You should stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to think positive,' it makes you wish you could saw their head off.

But my favorite band is Curbside Life, out of Chicago.

I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory.

Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her.