I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.

I think people tend to see the bigger point, which is maybe not fitting in and feeling like you didn't have the childhood that you expected you would have, or that you felt lonely or struggled with drugs and alcohol or just that you were able to achieve your dreams.

Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.

When I ate vanilla frosting straight from the can, I could feel God standing right nest to me like a real best friend, watching, and smiling, and wishing he had a mouth.

Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.

But my favorite band is Curbside Life, out of Chicago.

I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways.