I never could have written the screenplay because I would have been forced to learn new software and I can't learn one more thing.
Augusten BurroughsFact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed by it. As though it has done this to you.
Augusten BurroughsWhen people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not.
Augusten BurroughsYou cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.
Augusten Burroughs