I've only ever been interested in drugs as therapeutic tools.

Whatever my intentions, whatever the truth of my claim, I had no business giving a lecture to a total stranger.

If only shame were a reliable engine for behavior modification. All it does is make me feel bad, which inspires me to bust open a bag of cheese popcorn, which then makes me feel crappy about my weight.

There's nothing I find quite as annoying as the phrase 'I told you so.'

I wish I could view the belly that oozes over the top of my pants as a badge of maternal honor. I do try. I make sure that the women whose looks I admire all have sufficient fat reserves to survive a famine, and I make a lot of snide comments about the skeletal likes of Lara Flynn Boyle and Paris Hilton.

Courage is impulsive; it is narcissism tempered with nihilism.

Well, you know, I was raised by a 1970s feminist. My mom had a consciousness-raising group. I used to sit at the top of the stairs and listen to them.