If we could have just screwed another head on his shoulders, he would have been the greatest golfer who ever lived.

I'm glad I brought this course, this monster, to its knees.

I dreamed one night that I had 17 holes-in-one and one two, and when I woke up I was so goddam mad.

Jesus Christ can't hit a golf ball straight. It's virtually impossible - at best it's an accident.

All other things being equal, greens break to the west.

I could not wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again.

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.