I wish it were possible, from this instance, to invent a method of embalming drowned persons in such a manner that they may be recalled to life at any period, however distant; for having a very ardent desire to see and observe the state of America a hundred years hence, I should prefer to any ordinary death the being immersed in a cask of Madeira wine with a few friends till that time, to be then recalled to life by the solar warmth of my dear country!

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. Energy and persistence conquer all things. He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, his precepts! Oh, it's easier to keep Holidays than Commandments. Well done is better than well said.

A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. It is a small gesture, but one that can be very effective - especially in a large crowd. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly.

Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters.

He that steals the old man's supper does him no wrong.

Two passions have powerful influence on the affairs of men: the love of power and the love of money.