I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

This gave me occasion to observe, that when Men are employ'd they are best contented. For on the Days they work'd they were good-natur'd and chearful; and with the consciousness of having done a good Days work they spent the Evenings jollily; but on the idle Days they were mutinous and quarrelsome, finding fault with their Pork, the Bread, and in continual ill-humour. (Autobiography, 1771)

Those who laugh often never grow old.

There is no such thing as a good war or a bad peace.

There never was a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous.

But the eyes of other people are the eyes that ruin us. If all but myself were blind, I should want neither fine clothes, fine houses nor fine furniture.

Our whole life is but a greater and longer childhood.